When Calls the Heart

I'm just going to come right out and say it - my heart and soul has been hurting!! I don't know if the moon and Jupiter are aligned, out of alignment, in lunar cycle or WHAT (or what any of that means), but the last few months I have just felt heavy and this is going to sound weird but I feel as though I can feel the hurt, pain and sadness of Mother Earth. 

I'm generally a sensitive person, meaning that I can feel, absorb and emulate the feelings around me; which usually just meant that I had to be careful in what movies I watched. High anxiety movies (horror, thriller, violence) would affect my anxiety - sad/emotional movies would make me cry (I cry at a lot of movies). 

But lately, I have felt like I've needed to build a bigger bubble around myself and what I'm exposing myself to on a daily basis. I usually listen to talk radio on my way to/from work but that has become so angry with the divisiveness in politics that I can't listen to it anymore. Social media used to be a place where I would check in on my friends and family, but it has become so mean and vile with what people say to each other; complete strangers saying AWFUL things to one other. It's become so hateful that I have had to really limit how I spend my time on it. People are living their life behind a screen and not realizing that on the other side of the screen are REAL PEOPLE. 

I've even had to give up the one thing that used to be my escape; reality television. I will never be afraid to admit that I was a Housewives die-hard (and on occasion still get sucked into an episode with my sister) -- but again, it just got to the point where I felt worse after watching the show, about myself and life in general so I chose to give them up (sorry RHW). 

So I've given up radio, reality television and have limited myself on social media. One must be thinking "that's a bit extreme, don't you think?" Maybe? But I had to! I was losing hope in humanity and my soul was seriously drained. 

While at first it was a bit of a bore, not having all of the drama in my life and all of my vice's that got me through the day - what happened next has been transformational. So just what happens when you shut the doors to the things in your life bringing you down? You make space for new doors to appear and make room in your mind for clarity to come through. You open yourself up to light, goodness, LOVE and PEACE. 

By turning off reality television, I opened myself up to shows that bring love, joy and a smile. Recently, I watched a show called "When Calls the Heart," and as one would suspect with that title, it's a Hallmark original TV series and is every bit as cheesy as one would guess - but it's the GOOD kind of cheesy. It's centered around God, community, love, friendship; on simpler times. I became obsessed with the show (again, not going to deny it). I would find myself watching the episodes and SMILING! Seriously, how many shows out there can you actually say leave you smiling? Don't tell my son that I am posting this, but even he was into the show for about a season and a half. The kid that listens to awful rap music (I mean truly awful- I have either become old or rap music has progressively become worse) & youtubers who have made themselves famous by making diss-tracks about people. There was just something about the show that drew you in. Maybe it's because the theme of community, love and kindness seem so foreign to our everyday lives lately; or maybe it's because that is the root of what we all need and connect to? 

This theme of community and love has been coming up a lot since watching the show; maybe I'm just hyper-sensitive to it now (like when you decide you are going to buy a certain type of car and then all of the sudden everywhere you drive, you see that car), or maybe the discussion is just starting to get bigger & people are really taking notice of how far we have moved as a society from these two things?

Just the other week I went to a two day training, called Rescue Academy Live, here in my hometown. The training was about teaching people how to talk, listen and help people who are going through difficult situations. There were about 50 people there from all across the U.S, all coming together because they wanted to learn how to help people who were hurting. The funny thing about it all was everyone came thinking they were going to learn how to help others, but I think everyone got as much out of the training for themselves, as they did for other people.

The training was really centered on LOVE & COMMUNITY being the foundation for everything in life and that only through love, can we transform hurt, shame, and titles. People going through trauma, hardship, depression - they don't need heroes; they just need someone who can show up. Which lately, it seems that with all of the distractions in the world - I think we could all start showing up a little more in our own lives if we want to start seeing transformational change. 

One of the most beautiful things that came out of the two days was the love and sense of community that we shared with each other. There was something really special and magical about being vulnerable, raw and authentic with people; people whom less than 24 hours previously you had no idea they even existed. I know more about some of their life stories, struggles, hardship, trials and victories than I do with people who have been in my life for years.

That is what love and community is! It's about being authentic with people, about showing up with your battle scars and all. It's also about appreciating, respecting and loving people through their hardship - so they can come out from under the rock of shame that they feel buried underneath. In church this past week, our pastor talked about how God "uses our mess and turns it into his MESSage." How great and how true is that? How great would it be if we lived in a world where we were able to be vulnerable enough with each other, so that we could use our mess to help other through there's?

When Chasity and I started this blog, our main purpose was centered around this message of love, vulnerability and authenticity. Our goal has been to live in H.O.P.E - honesty, openness, purpose and evolution. I didn't fully understand the extent of it when we laid it all out (just knew that it felt right), but lately I feel like we are really onto something and really hope that this blog does continue to evolve into a place where Chasity and I share our struggles, hardship and victories - so that other people can too. When we stand in our story, we can show up and help other's to stand in theirs.

I feel like my posts have been a little heavy over the course of this year, but you know what? It's really a reflection of how I've been feeling. It is just the season I am in right now and my posts are an honest reflection of my soul. 

I encourage everyone to love a little deeper right now; think the world can really use some TLC. Take time to show up in your life, to rid the things that are bringing you down and when your heart calls, listen to it!

Be nice to someone today!! Love someone a little harder, even if you think they don't deserve it. Spread compassion and kindness. PLEASE, my heart and soul beg of it. :)

Going to leave you with a quote from a book I am reading right now as I think she says it best.

"We need smart people with huge hearts and creative minds to manifest all the wealth, resources, and support they need to make their difference in the world. We need people to feel happy and fulfilled and loved so they don't take their shit out on themselves and other people and the planet and our animal friends." - Jen Sincero, Author of You are a Badass

<3,

Kristin