Lies and Misconceptions About Having it All

in

Going into this week, I’ve over analyzed this post to the point it became debilitating (which is what I tend to do). What the heck can I write about that people would actually care about? However, after seeing Chasity’s fearless post and just putting it out there (one of the qualities I love & admire about her), I decided it was time to just leap and not think.

So here we go the first solo post!!

As the New Year usually does, we all go into January reflecting on the previous year; replaying the good, the bad, and the ugly and come up with all these ‘resolutions’ for how we are going to make ourselves and our lives better. All set with good intentions, most with poor execution or follow through! Its human nature – we tend live in repeat and stay in our comfort zone! I read that the statistic for those who actually succeed in achieving their resolution was only like 10%.

I definitely am in the 10%! I had all these grand plans for 2017 (2016 was a tough year for me; lots of anxiety,  and God really putting pressure on me to make some changes that I had be avoiding for years). I wanted to go into 2017 as a better mom, business professional, friend, human being, etc. All the typical stuff!

Here’s how that has worked for me so far. Tuesday morning I woke up late, rushed myself and my son out the door at 7:00a to get to school and work, and then around 3:50p that day I realized that I not only didn’t give my son money for lunch – he also didn’t bring ANY food with him (I don’t think he ate breakfast that day either). He was about to go into lacrosse practice and pretty much hadn’t eaten anything all day. Anyone who has a 15 year old boy, or was a 15 year old boy, knows that all they do is eat! They are literally hungry 24 hours a day and you physically can’t keep enough food in the house to satisfy them. Way to start the new year off as a better mom! I felt horrible - both because I didn’t feed my child, but here I was, 2 days into the New Year and already failing at my resolution. #Winning!

After reading Chasity's post on the Lies and Misconceptions of Alcoholism, it got me thinking about the other lies and misconceptions we fall into. For me, it’s the lies and misconception that we have created as a society (especially for women), that we can and should have it ALL!

I don’t know about anyone else, but this idea is exhausting, and for me just not true. Can I do it all (sure), do I do it all (yes) – does it come without sacrifice, NO! That's the part of the mantra that always seems to be left out and what leaves so many people (myself included) feeling defeated and just downright drained. I am exhausted 24 hours a day!

I have no greater pleasure in my life then in the moments that I get to be a mom. I was fortunate to be able to stay home with my son the first 5 years of his life and have spent the last 10 years juggling between being a single mom and a working mom. I would love to be able to wake up in the mornings cook him breakfast (one that doesn’t consist of a baggie full of cereal as we rush out the door), pack his lunch, have his laundry folded and put away before he gets home from school (I don’t do his laundry by the way – made him start doing his own laundry years ago), etc. However, that isn’t my reality. My reality consists of TRYING to achieve all my mom duties, while also trying to live up to the other 100 things I should be doing or achieving as a woman.

I personally don’t believe that we are meant to have it all and do it all – and trying to achieve it doesn’t come without a daily sacrifice in some area of my life. When I am really engaged in being a mom and taking care of my home responsibilities– I am usually sacrificing my professional development, working out, eating healthy, being creative, and/or spending time with family/friends (and vise a versa). Maybe some of you out there are better at juggling it all, or maybe my expectations of what/where I should be at this stage of my life are too high? Who knows?

We live in a society now that stresses this idea of striving for perfection in EVERY area of life. I see it soo much in our kids’ lives with the expectations placed on them in sports and school. Kids are literally being verbally committed to colleges in middle school for sports! Soon they are going to start drafting them right out of the womb. It’s hard enough trying to live up to our own expectations, nonetheless societies expectations. I’m not saying it isn’t possible, I’m just saying we need to start shedding light on the truth that something’s got to give to make it all possible. Sometimes it’s the laundry, sometimes it’s feeding our children :(, sometimes it’s our sanity, sobriety, relationships, faith, happiness, joy, fulfillment [insert your own area of sacrifice], etc.

SO, my resolution for 2017 is to let go of the lies and misconceptions that I should have and do it all. To show myself grace and to remind myself that I should just strive to be thankful for whatever I was able to accomplish in the 24 hours that I was given. I’m only one person and have a limited amount of resources (energy being the main one :))! We are ALL only one person! Together, we CAN have and do it all but it takes a community, it takes help, and it takes leaning on others.

All my love (and grace) to each of you trying to get through today better than you got through yesterday. Some days we will succeed and some days we will fail! If we just keep putting one foot in front of the other we are guaranteed to continue to move forward. Some days we may only move forward one step, some days we might fall back 6 steps, and other days we may run a marathon. The goal is just to keep moving forward.

Love you all!

<3 Kristin